Lady Starfish
Reflections on equality, privilege, and the power of small acts
We like to think of equality as a universal principle—that all human beings are created equal and should be afforded the same rights and opportunities. The idea has echoed through history, from Enlightenment thinkers to the ringing words of the American Declaration of Independence. They are noble ideals, ones we like to believe in, but when we look around us, reality tells another story. Where we are born, into which family and in which part of the world, still determines far more about our lives than any amount of effort, talent, or ambition.
As divers, most of us belong to the fortunate. Diving is not an activity easily accessible without means, and the simple fact that we can travel, explore the oceans, and enjoy what they have to offer sets us apart from much of the world’s population.
I have been travelling most of my life. My parents took my brother and me on a car journey through Europe before we were even school age. Since then, I have been lucky enough to see much of the world—Europe, Asia, Africa, North America. From the Arctic to the tropics I have dived in seas and lakes, had remarkable encounters with marine life, and met people and cultures that have taught me a great deal—not just about them, but about myself and where I come from.
Malawi, which features in this issue, taught me more than anywhere else. The kindness, warmth, and easy generosity of the Malawians was not just heartwarming but eye-opening. Their way of life became a mirror that reflected back on my own world. Despite our far greater wealth and technological might, we in the first world often seem restless and dissatisfied, forever chasing the next gain. In the process, we forget how to enjoy life as it is, and how to treat each other with simple kindness.
In Malawi, I passed through a small village where I saw a mother sitting outside her house, cradling her disabled daughter. She was not begging, nor asking for help. She was simply there, doing what love demanded of her. I stopped to speak with her and learned that her daughter had suffered brain damage from cerebral malaria as an infant. Where I come from, she would probably have had immediate medical treatment, followed by lifelong support of one kind or another. Here, there was none of that. Only the care her mother and extended family could provide, day in and day out.
It was impossible not to be moved. Behind the mother’s brave smile, I sensed her exhaustion, her sadness, and the unrelenting weight of her responsibility. Yet I also saw her love, her tenderness, her refusal to give up. I gave her some cash then and later sent more. It was not much in the grander scheme of things, but it made a big difference for them. I later learned they were able to buy medical provisions and a supply of maize flour—enough to see them through for a substantial period. That detail struck me especially: food security, which we so easily take for granted, is a daily concern in many places. Realising that a modest contribution could relieve that worry for a time made me appreciate just how wide the gap of opportunity and security really is.
For me, it felt deeply rewarding—not only to offer practical help, but to repay, in some small way, the lessons the Malawians had given me.
I still have to learn their names. But in my mind, I call her Lady Starfish. She reminded me of the story of the child walking along a beach after a storm, throwing stranded starfish back into the sea. Told it made no difference, since there were many thousands more, the child replied: “It made a big difference to that one.”
That is how I think of her. And that is what I carry with me from Malawi: the realisation that, even in the face of vast inequality and seemingly endless need, it is still possible to make a difference to someone. Making a real difference is not only humbling but also a profoundly powerful experience.
As divers, we are among the fortunate, able to travel and enjoy the wonders of the natural world. When we visit poorer countries, perhaps we should consider leaving behind more than footprints and photographs—perhaps we should also do something that truly helps some of the locals, as a token of gratitude for the privilege of being there.